Bob Martens

I just heard on a podcast (This Developer’s Life 1.1.4 to be exact) and I heard the tired phrase again: “normal college experience” (not a direct quote and probably way off). I won’t comment on the context of the quote, but I will comment on just the phrase “normal college experience” and the word “normal” as it is used consistently.

A “normal” college experience usually includes, at least in the minds of the media, partying, skipping classes, hanging out with friends, hijinks and all other sorts of things usually attached to a group of young people in their early twenties (or late teens). Needless to say, responsibility and thinking of the future usually is not part of that equation.

Once again, in the minds of the media and what connotation the word “normal” carries with it.

The sad thing is that using the word “normal” for behavior like that encourages that behavior to become, well, normal. When you perpetuate the idea that doing things like that is somehow justified by the idea of “normal,” then I think you forfeit the idea of acting surprised when you hear of what people are doing under such a banner.

It’s also a lame excuse for not getting your work done or learning anything useful.

However, to an extent, the word “normal” bugs me as well because there are people who tend to look down on you if you are not following the “normal” path (or what they expect, which is what they would consider “normal”). Want to finish your education degree but not get your teaching license? That’s not normal, so expect to get some flack for it. Want to get married in college? That’s not normal, so expect comments during class pointing that out. Having a kid before you are out of college? That’s not normal, so expect more comments and a constant “that was your choice” to be reigned down from on high for the choice you made.

Who cares what “normal” is. If I would have followed that path, I would be very miserable right now and doing no one any good. “Normal” tries to hole us up into easily defined categories so that people can more easily understand us, or more easily pare down the choices we need to make because we should stick to only the “normal” ones.

Get over it. People are complex and all people are individuals and should be treated as such. The choices that a single person makes isn’t going to please everyone, but maybe it is the decision that needed to be made anyway.

It wasn’t normal to move to Milwaukee, start a new job and then move back to another new job in my home town only four months later. That’s not normal, but it was what was needed.

Give it up, there is no “normal,” only people.

As I usually do, I’m going to speak in huge generalities and without sourcing much of anything. Right now, that isn’t my style, I prefer to just type and let the words pour out of wherever my words pour out of. Sadly, no pop for the past three weeks so it isn’t going to be out of a caffeine-induced stupor. Sorry to disappoint.

What is wrong with being content? This question stems from some recent conversations flowing around the internet that have focused on startups, starting your own business, and what it means to be an entrepreneur. I’m a person who firmly falls into the bootstrapping camp (for companies building software with low overhead) and tend to think that shunning VC money is a quality that is to be desired.

That is part of the context. Recently, though, some discussions I’ve been having with my wife have focused on what priority money has taken, is taking and will take in the decisions we have/are/are going to make. It is a fascinating discussion about where our motivation comes from, what we are looking for in work and life and just who we are as people. Luckily, we’ve found out that we are much more similar than we might have thought.

What all of this talk does is focus my mind around that question: what is wrong with being content? It seems that in American society (and especially within the startup subculture), the idea is that you cannot be content with who you are, where you are, how much money you make, how large your company is … the list can just go on and on and on. That’s just the feeling I get. Somehow it just feels that if you are content, and doing good work, then you are less of a person.

But what is wrong with being content? What is wrong with being happy with what you are doing, and continuing to do good work? I’m not saying I’m there yet (definitely not doing good work … yet), but I’m hoping to get there some day. When I do, do I have to all of a sudden feel like I need to do more and burn myself out?

What happens if I start a company, grow it to the point where it can comfortably support our growing family, finish the upcoming bathroom project and replace the plumbing in the house and get a 2012 VW Beetle. Do I continue to try and grow the business so that I can get farther away from the things I LOVE to do?

What’s wrong with doing what you love, being content and then spending the rest of your time doing other good things in life. You can spend time with your family, culture relationships in your community and around the world, tutor new developers, get involved in your church and community and any number of other things. Being content allows you to start spreading yourself out into some other areas where your might be wanted/needed and be rewarded in other ways outside of just gaining some more geek cred within the startup community or wherever you are.

This post has no point, and I’m aware of that. However, I am also aware that maybe the greatest benefit of being content is the feeling of contentment itself.

I used the politically correct term in the title, but I’m going to call it pop (I’m from Minnesota) from this point forward.

I have to finally admit it. I’ve had an addiction to pop for the past few years. Actually, I think since I started college (in 2005), so that would put it at six years this Fall. That means I should give myself twelve to actually ditch it completely, right?

All kidding aside, I was pretty well hooked on the stuff. There were days when I would look forward to a taste of a good, well-carbonated Dr. Pepper like it would carry me through the rest of the day. I wouldn’t venture far from the office without having something in my hand to keep me going.

There probably isn’t much that looks less professional than a bottle of Mt. Dew at your lips as you are working on a computer issue.

I was a slave to the pop. As sugary sweet as it is, it is going to be difficult to stay away from it, but I think that my relationship with pop needs to change. It isn’t going to end because I’m a firm believe in “everything in moderation,” but the days of relying on that caffeine boost to get me through the week is going by the wayside and I will need to find another way to do it.

One thing I am doing is getting out and working out more regularly again. I’m going back to Couch to 5K to try and get myself back into shape again, which will go a long way to getting my energy up as my body increases its metabolism.

At the office, my big change is the introduction of iced tea as my drink of choice. I’m hoping that it will be the sweetness I crave without all of the ill effects. I also need to drink more water.

Luckily, I’m now on week 2 of not having any pop and the headaches are gone. Sadly, they are replaced with my body now working to cope with increased workouts, but I’m sure I’ll get there soon.

It feels good to break those chains.