Category: Life

First off, leave now if you don’t want to hear me gush a little about my wife. Good.

I don’t normally try to dwell on the past because, well, it is in the past. However, sometimes it is kind of fun to think back a little and try and imagine how different things would be if decisions you had made were changed. Tonight’s thought: Where would I be if I hadn’t met Laura (my wife)?

The best way for me to enumerate this is to create a list!

1. living in my parent’s garage (loft)
2. drinking a lot more pop
3. eating terribly
4. still wearing the same shirts I wore in high school
5. have a desk with four monitors on it
6. stay up until 2am most nights
7. still trying to figure out what to do with my life
8. afraid to drive in a city with more than 13,000 people in it
9. still wearing the same glasses from high school
10. never EVER worked out

It would be quite a change. There is no mention of the other things that I would be missing out on either like having a family, owning a house, soliciting bids for a bathroom project, having kids, being a husband and father … and the list can just go on and on.

I’d also not smell nearly as nice.

For the past two weeks I’ve been in a sort of a “funk.” What I mean is that I really have not felt like myself and have had a very hard time focusing on the tasks I need to get done.

It doesn’t just end there. Where I would normally go through the day with thoughts dancing through my head of how to solve problems or ideas of what I could be doing during the rest of the day or ideas for websites I want to build or products I should be shipping. Frustrating.

It’s a funk, and I’m never quite sure how I can get myself out of one quickly or easily. Usually it requires copious amounts of caffeine and music as I force myself through it as I stay up late one night and push my way through the blocks. However, I’ve been drastically cutting my caffeine consumption, so my normal way of handling things wasn’t going to work.

One thing I have learned is that playing video games is not the beset route to take (for me). I finally finished up Dragon Age: Origins tonight, and looking back on it, it was a great game but I lament the amount of wasted time over the past couple of weeks. The hours I spent working my way through the game probably could have been better spent actually building something.

One thing I found out, as well, is that my mind tends to shut off key parts of my brain as I play video games. The creative part of my brain completely turns off as I work to logically figure out what the rules are for the game and exploit them as best I can. Not helping the situation much there.

For me, games are a good distraction but when I get too engrossed in them I waste a lot of time. Wasting time isn’t good.

My hope is that tomorrow’s MinneBar will help me break through some of my funk. I’m going to be going iPad-only to the event so we will see how that goes. Should be a lot lighter pack compared to last year. There are a lot of really great talks going on, so hoping to catch lightning in a bottle to help me break through the barrier.

I just heard on a podcast (This Developer’s Life 1.1.4 to be exact) and I heard the tired phrase again: “normal college experience” (not a direct quote and probably way off). I won’t comment on the context of the quote, but I will comment on just the phrase “normal college experience” and the word “normal” as it is used consistently.

A “normal” college experience usually includes, at least in the minds of the media, partying, skipping classes, hanging out with friends, hijinks and all other sorts of things usually attached to a group of young people in their early twenties (or late teens). Needless to say, responsibility and thinking of the future usually is not part of that equation.

Once again, in the minds of the media and what connotation the word “normal” carries with it.

The sad thing is that using the word “normal” for behavior like that encourages that behavior to become, well, normal. When you perpetuate the idea that doing things like that is somehow justified by the idea of “normal,” then I think you forfeit the idea of acting surprised when you hear of what people are doing under such a banner.

It’s also a lame excuse for not getting your work done or learning anything useful.

However, to an extent, the word “normal” bugs me as well because there are people who tend to look down on you if you are not following the “normal” path (or what they expect, which is what they would consider “normal”). Want to finish your education degree but not get your teaching license? That’s not normal, so expect to get some flack for it. Want to get married in college? That’s not normal, so expect comments during class pointing that out. Having a kid before you are out of college? That’s not normal, so expect more comments and a constant “that was your choice” to be reigned down from on high for the choice you made.

Who cares what “normal” is. If I would have followed that path, I would be very miserable right now and doing no one any good. “Normal” tries to hole us up into easily defined categories so that people can more easily understand us, or more easily pare down the choices we need to make because we should stick to only the “normal” ones.

Get over it. People are complex and all people are individuals and should be treated as such. The choices that a single person makes isn’t going to please everyone, but maybe it is the decision that needed to be made anyway.

It wasn’t normal to move to Milwaukee, start a new job and then move back to another new job in my home town only four months later. That’s not normal, but it was what was needed.

Give it up, there is no “normal,” only people.

As I usually do, I’m going to speak in huge generalities and without sourcing much of anything. Right now, that isn’t my style, I prefer to just type and let the words pour out of wherever my words pour out of. Sadly, no pop for the past three weeks so it isn’t going to be out of a caffeine-induced stupor. Sorry to disappoint.

What is wrong with being content? This question stems from some recent conversations flowing around the internet that have focused on startups, starting your own business, and what it means to be an entrepreneur. I’m a person who firmly falls into the bootstrapping camp (for companies building software with low overhead) and tend to think that shunning VC money is a quality that is to be desired.

That is part of the context. Recently, though, some discussions I’ve been having with my wife have focused on what priority money has taken, is taking and will take in the decisions we have/are/are going to make. It is a fascinating discussion about where our motivation comes from, what we are looking for in work and life and just who we are as people. Luckily, we’ve found out that we are much more similar than we might have thought.

What all of this talk does is focus my mind around that question: what is wrong with being content? It seems that in American society (and especially within the startup subculture), the idea is that you cannot be content with who you are, where you are, how much money you make, how large your company is … the list can just go on and on and on. That’s just the feeling I get. Somehow it just feels that if you are content, and doing good work, then you are less of a person.

But what is wrong with being content? What is wrong with being happy with what you are doing, and continuing to do good work? I’m not saying I’m there yet (definitely not doing good work … yet), but I’m hoping to get there some day. When I do, do I have to all of a sudden feel like I need to do more and burn myself out?

What happens if I start a company, grow it to the point where it can comfortably support our growing family, finish the upcoming bathroom project and replace the plumbing in the house and get a 2012 VW Beetle. Do I continue to try and grow the business so that I can get farther away from the things I LOVE to do?

What’s wrong with doing what you love, being content and then spending the rest of your time doing other good things in life. You can spend time with your family, culture relationships in your community and around the world, tutor new developers, get involved in your church and community and any number of other things. Being content allows you to start spreading yourself out into some other areas where your might be wanted/needed and be rewarded in other ways outside of just gaining some more geek cred within the startup community or wherever you are.

This post has no point, and I’m aware of that. However, I am also aware that maybe the greatest benefit of being content is the feeling of contentment itself.